Little acts of discrimination hurt. Yeah. They actually do. Especially if they come from people you care about the most. Not necessarily people who you least expect. But people you consider friends, family or maybe, something in between.
Little acts of discrimination is not exactly fatal but they are toxic in their own way. Toxic as in it slowly kills you nonetheless. It burns out that little faith you have left. Faith that keeps you believing that if you are at least nice and kind, people will treat you the same. Not differently.
Most of the time, they do. However, when they don’t, it hurts. You can’t say anything because you don’t think they understand. You can’t say anything because you know you still want and need them in your life.
And if you do say anything, they just shrug it off and blame you for being sensitive and emotional.
Tell ’em or not. Either way it will hurt. Things don’t necessarily get better. You just get tougher. Thicker. Or the other option is to get used to the pain. Sanayan lang. Get used to the feeling of being out of place. The odd man out. The person no one chooses.
Maybe they’re afraid what people will think. Or maybe the reason’s more innocent than what you feel. Or because it’s just that they don’t unconditionally see you as a friend. Just the part where it’s convenient.
Everyone is guilty of little acts of discrimination. That one person you didn’t invite to your party felt left out. That time you stood and waited for someone to sit beside the weird kid at the bleachers so you won’t have to.
Little acts of discrimination are inevitable. After all, we’re in a free country. It just hurts all the more when they come from you.